Happy birthday mum…where ever you are.

My mum would have been 68 years old today. Not really too sure how I feel today, I’m sad that she is not around, it’s a day we would have celebrated together in someway. But I feel the need to not be upset, like she wouldn’t have wanted it. It’s all a bit confusing. I hear her in my head telling me to carry on with everything, in her over-confident and happy way in the world, but then I also hear other voices telling me it’s ok to feel sad. At the moment all I feel is confused and a bit numb. I didn’t think I could face going to visit her ashes on the Heath today, so I went yesterday instead and planted some flowers and lay under her tree in the sun. I wanted to do something to mark the day today in some way though so I brought a big bunch of her favorite Tulips and made one of my favorite recipes of her’s, Pissaladiere, which I’m going off now to eat right now…

Here’s a nice picture of her I found, cooking in her restaurant L’Escargot in Soho sometime in the 1980’s.

Happy No-Mothers day to me!

Oh how I love a bit of self-pity. No, I’m  actually glad of this yet another commercial day that encourages people to buy more shite they don’t need, as my mum detested it and demanded we never brought her anything for it, and if we ever did dare she would bin it straight away, and I loved her even more for that. I  miss her everyday, no more today than any other, but today it’s actually made me smile, it makes me remember her great no-bullshit attitude to life and makes me laugh, so today I’m celebrating ‘No-Mother’s Day’, I’m sure she would approve and have a chuckle! x